Two Sides of Every Coin
When I heard that classes were cancelled due to COVID-19’s proximity to our campus I, like most students, rejoiced. We’d just come back from spring break and were entering the gauntlet that ultimately became a mad dash to the end of the school year. As a sophomore, I was all too aware of what was to come. Suddenly, it felt like it’d been given an indefinite extension. At the time, indefinite seemed almost too good to be true. Elated, I unknowingly met with friends for the last time during the year, packed my bags and headed home. As I loaded everything into my parents’ car, I naively remember thinking that COVID was a blessing.
At first, the freedom was great. The ability to skip class and watch lectures without repercussions was liberating. Not having to get ready and run to the Commuter North stop by Panera was relaxing; now, I could roll out of bed two minutes before lecture and still make it on time. Club meetings were cancelled, so I had all the time in the world to do anything I wanted! I watched tons of movies and caught up on TV shows. I felt like I had the balance I desired as a student. I felt like I had the lifestyle that I’d dreamt about during my time on campus. I was finally able to have fun and be productive while getting enough sleep and virtual social interaction with my peers.
Next came the isolation. Not seeing anyone my age felt a little strange, but it was nothing a little social media and Facetime couldn’t solve. I noticed myself getting bored of movies and TV shows. No big deal, I just switched over to playing video games to pass the time. I missed eating at the Chipotle on State and Frita Batidos. Now, even waking up two minutes before the start of lecture became difficult because I struggled to find meaning in my work. However, I was confident that this would be over soon enough and life would go back to normal.
It didn’t. Soon came the reports of death close to home. Listening to statistics and staring at line graphs was one thing but to hear of cases of COVID-19 in neighborhoods whose names I knew was a different kind of frightening. All around me, friends and family stocked up on essentials, nervously laughing at the preposterous possibility of societal collapse while grabbing everything they responsibly could at our local Meijers. Businesses started to shut down. I began to burn out from school and the lack of interaction made it difficult to focus. Late-night meet ups at the UgLi were a lot better than pixelated Zoom calls. Social media became a maddening dichotomy of motivational words and sadness; randomly interspersed between the inspiring quotes were somber images and eulogies. Even the theater of the presidential election came to a grinding halt. I began to lose hope that things would ever be the same way they were.
As I sit here now, I’m painfully aware of all that I’ve lost. I fell out of touch with some friends. I lost someone I never thought I would. Like many, my post grad plans have been called into jeopardy. The chaos of the last few weeks of school has been replaced by the humdrum of discouraging news reports, dog walks and YouTube videos. I miss the almost palpable electricity in the air in Ann Arbor. I miss the mouth-watering smells of State Street. I miss the camaraderie I had with my roommates and neighbors. I miss the freedom and independence of being a college student. I miss having to choose whether to stay in or go out on a Saturday night. I miss game days. I miss the gym. I miss the small talk at bus stops or in lines. I miss cooking in my own kitchen where I know where everything is. I miss the random philosophical conversations that sprung up late at night. I miss it all. I feel discouraged and fearful that everything I’ve worked towards for the last few years will be reduced to nothing. I’m confident that the world after COVID-19 won’t be the same as the world before this global pandemic.
And yet, there’s two sides to every coin. On one side, we can grieve for all that we’ve lost and we should. The thousands of lives taken too soon, the millions of jobs lost, the families destabilized all deserve their moment of silence. We as a species have lost too much to be summarized with GDP figures or percentages. However, we owe it to those who are no longer with us to do better this time. We’ve been given an unique opportunity, one seen perhaps once every generation. The reset switch has been hit. On the other side of the coin lies the chance to reshape our world as we see fit.
Before this lockdown, I was pulled in just about a thousand different directions by things I thought I had to do. Suddenly, the pressure’s off. I’ve had the rare opportunity to objectively assess what I really want to do, both with the rest of my college career and with my life. I rediscovered my passion for creating music after not touching an instrument for the last few years. I realized how cathartic playing the violin is for me. I figured out that I’m not as bad at running as I thought and it wasn’t as torturous as I remembered. I started reading for fun again. I became thankful for things as seemingly basic as food on our table, a roof over my head and life itself. As much as COVID has taken from me, it has given me the opportunity to take a step back from my routine and holistically reassess myself, allowing me to make the changes I see fit.
This change can also be on a larger scale. The world post-COVID will not be the same as the one before it. We’re now faced with a plethora of problems we never could’ve anticipated. Many can be boiled down to a conflict between maximizing the good in society for the majority and ensuring the well-being and prosperity of all. We as a people need solutions to these new problems. That isn’t to say that every idea needs to be commercially successful. It could be as small as finding a way to disinfect the mail or a new way to greet people sans handshakes. It could be a sustainable way to make public transportation like busses safer. It could be finding a new business model for restaurants and other service-based industries. The world has changed and it’s on us to make of it what we want.
The world is malleable right now. No one knows what the future holds anymore. More so now than ever before in my life, we’re masters of our own destiny and that of society as a whole. COVID-19 has introduced a plethora of challenges that we’re going to have to overcome in all aspects of our lives. Uncertainty, disappointment and fear are now a constant in our lives. It’s on us to take it in stride. We’ve been given an opportunity. It’s on us to make the most of it.
